The Inappropriateness of Semicolons
by TwistedSky
Summary: Chloe and Oliver discuss the appropriateness of "punctuation." Random fluff.


Random little fluffy piece. I was having a conversation with a friend on twitter and this just . . . happened. Dedicated to talcumpowder-even though I know she won't read this.

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"You know you've lost your mind the day you start to refer to punctuation as slutty." Chloe said, sighing.

Oliver turned to stare at his wife, "What? Like, commas and quotations are getting a little nookie?"

Chloe stared him down. "No. Well, I mean, yes. Technically. I mean, no."

"You've really illuminated the situation, Chlo."

"Sorry. It's just—this." Chloe held up a tiny stack of papers.

Oliver quirked his head in confusion. "What is it?"

Chloe pointed to the name at the top, "It's our son's AP English paper."

"What are you doing with that?"

"Editing." Chloe said, lowering her head almost shamefully. "I know I said I wouldn't help him, but he can't edit. And I just can't let it go because . . . "

"—the journalist in you screams in pain." Oliver completed the sentence for her.

"Exactly."

They went back to what they were doing until suddenly Oliver's head jumped back up as his mind caught onto something she'd said. "Wait, slutty punctuation?"

Chloe laughed. "Oh, that."

"Explain."

"Well, look at this." Chloe held up the paper again, indicating the use of purple pen. "I use the red for regular grammar corrections, but the purple is for punctuation. All of the purple circles are semicolons that should be commas."

"Okay, but I still don't quite understand the whole 'slutty punctuation' thing."

Chloe gave him a look. "If you stayed quiet, then I could explain, couldn't I?"

"Chloe, if you were really bothered then you'd just talk over me and slap me upside the head."

"True." Chloe reached over and kissed Oliver. "I love you. But let me finish." She tapped him gently on his head.

Oliver's eyes darkened. "I will."

"Oliver," Chloe warned. "Anyway, so I was thinking about how a lot of the time when I'm typing in a word document and I use the spell/grammar check it suggests that I change commas into semicolons."

"Why is that a problem?"

"Because, sometimes it tells you to turn a comma into a semicolon when in reality it really _should _be a comma."

"That doesn't make sense."

"No, it doesn't. But that's not the important analogous connection I made."

Oliver nodded, lest he be stuck on couch that night. He was sure things were about to actually make sense. Chloe really hated when he didn't let her 'finish' regardless of whatever it was she was trying to complete.

"So it occurred to me that Word is like a pimp. It's like, 'Oh no, you don't want to just go home to your wife who is a comma, you want to come hang out here with a semicolon, even though she's bad for you.'"

"Bad semicolons." Oliver nodded in understanding.

"Exactly. Sure, prostitutes are people too, but they're less common than commas. Like, if you were getting mugged, you wouldn't want a semicolon, you'd want parentheses or commas or something."

"So Word is a pimp and semicolons are akin to prostitutes?"

"Yes."

"Makes sense."

"Yup! So, Ollie, which am I?"

Oliver took a moment to think. Chloe's smile disappeared and she looked like she were about to slap him. She raised her hand about to speak when Oliver interrupted with his hand, "You're a dash. Entirely underrated, but lovely to use."

Oliver waited for her answer—slightly afraid that she'd take offense at that.

"I love you."

"I know."

"I'm your dash."

"Yup." Oliver went in to kiss her neck, leaning her back against the couch she'd been sitting on.

"Wait. Am I an en-dash or an em-dash? Or am I a hyphen?"

Oliver ignored her, far more interested in her than in her question.

"Oliver?"

Oliver sighed, lifting his head to meet her eyes, "Chloe, do you really want me to answer that question?"

Chloe looked at his face, then looked back between them.

"Not really."

"Good, now hopefully we can both 'finish,' and then we can get back to work."

"You have such a dirty mind."

"You started it." Oliver kissed her again to head off any retort she might make.

* * *

And this is why I should be banned from writing fanfiction.


End file.
